Friday, June 22, 2012

AC Labs: The PHOOTBIND

Inspired by secret training videos uncovered earlier this year, we at AC Labs are pushing the very boundaries of the human body. New climbing parents everywhere, the time has come to mold your little one into the superclimbers they were born to be.

AC Labs is proud to present the Pediatric Helping Olphalange Overboot To Bend Infantile Nubbins Downward (PHOOTBIND)!

This device gently curves a child's toes into the classic downturned position for high-end bouldering and sport.*
Before and After

Soon little Joey Kindergardener will be crushing 5.15 before he can count that high, Dean Toddler soloing your dream lines wearing a diaper 'chute, and baby Sash DiDroolian will,  uh, still pretty much be the same as Sasha DiGiulian.

AC Labs is planning on introducing a large range of infant training devices. Current projects include:

  • Umbilical-cord compatible quickdraw
  • Portacradledge
  • Gu gu ga ga, a formula-flavored energy gel
  • An aggrifier, the anti-pacifier
  • 4wd Subaru stroller
  • Harness-compatible diapers


*Crutches sold separately.

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