Monday, March 19, 2012


Rule 1: Always look like a hipster douchecrag, no matter what you're climbing.

Thoughts on my first day of ice climbing:
  • I can't believe I said the words "tool" and "screw" so many times in a day without giggling at least at least once.
  • The only way to make a cold day colder is to stand around idly in a ice covered gorge. Actually, there is one other way but luckily I wasn't the one who fell into the creek. That was Ruben, and it was hypothermically hysterical!
  • Crampons are awesome. However, you cannot moonwalk in them.
  • As a rock climber and an ice noob, I had trouble with some of the finer differences. E.g., whenever shit started falling from above, I started by yelling "rock!" but finished with "ice!" The people around me must have thought I have tourretes and a fondness for risotto.
  • Heel hooking, a mainstay of my climbing repertoire, isn't really an option on ice. And yet I kept trying...
  • I don't recommended trying to look cool and catch falling chunks of ice. That shit has some serious velocity and will hurt like a motherfucker even through 3 pairs of gloves.
  • Least useful place to keep hand warmers: back at your house.

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