Thursday, February 2, 2012

AC Labs presents: The PASSGAS

It's already too late. In retrospect, double fisting a PBR and an Ale-8 while slobbering down a full Miguel's black beans, kielbasa, pineapple, and garlic pizza was probably not a good choice, and your intestines are giving you some serious verbal abuse for it. But there's nowhere to run. You've already dragged your drunk ass into your tent (at least you think it's yours), zipped up the sleeping bag, and gotten comfy. And then it happens.

<pfffff>

Silent. Fuck. Silent is bad. You try not to move, or breath, or do anything at all, but you're screwed. The insulated down tunnel you're in ensures that every last bit of that gas is going straight to your face, blasting you with the sleeping bag dutch oven of death.

Fortunately, there is a better way! Our engineers at AssholeClimber Labs literally slaved over the problem, and have finally come up with a simple, effective product that REALLY WORKS!

We present: the Prophylactic Ass Stench Sealing Garter / Accessory Strap (PASSGAS)!

Simply get in your sleeping bag, grab your PASSGAS, wrap around your bag at the waist, click the buckle, and cinch tight. Your lower portion will be isolated from your face, sealing off all errant butt smoke.

Bonus: Instantly doubles tent floor space! Simply inform your tentmate what you are doing, and wait.

Extra bonus: Also works as a chalk bag belt!

Note: AC Labs is not responsible for any damage caused to your sleeping bag or relationships from the advice provided here. Also, ew.

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