Thursday, February 9, 2012

AC How-to: Top rock of love

Asshole Climber How-to Tip #37:
Here's a surefire way to look awesome and make everyone love you (works just as well in the gym as it does outside):
  1. Have your stud climber of a friend put up a rope on a lead route. Make sure it's the longest, most meandering route available. One that intersects other nearby routes or shares an anchor with others is ideal to maximize effect.
  2. Top rope the shit out of it.
  3. Flail uselessly for half an hour while a growing line of climbers sit, wait and seethe every time you fall and hang without even trying to make the next move. After each fall, spend a few minutes looking at the problem, ignore the beta from your friends and then try the same ineffective move you fell on five times before. It's got to work this time, right?
If you do this, please have the decency to continue unclipping all the way past the anchors.

2 comments:

  1. Happened to me at metro last mon, guy took over 20 minutes on a 5.8 at the prow....me and everyone else waiting thought it was awesome

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  2. Metro, what's that?
    btw, Lizzy is waaaay cooler than Peter.

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