Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Pieces of Shkit, part 1: Gnar Down Skirt

This week, we present three mindbogglingly stupid products that, sadly, actually exist. Stay tuned, and be sure to comment about your own most hated pieces of shkit. With no further ado, I present:

Gnar Skirt, Sierra Designs

Down is known to perform poorly when wet, which could be a problem when I piss myself laughing at anyone wearing this.

I'm not really sure what Sierra Designs was thinking when they DRAFTed this. One might say that I am not very OPEN to the idea of a down skirt. I just don't LEAK it very much. While it looks GORGEous, there seems GAPING HOLE in the design logic. It might have something do with the GINORMOUS FUCKING HOLE IN THE BOTTOM.

It provides almost no insulation and makes your ass look big. The down skirt is basically a cold air funnel straight to your lady parts. If you thought the screaming barfies from your hands were bad. . .

Sadly, there is no down kilt available for the men-folk.


  1. Fucken awesome post Shoo!

    Might I add my favorite shkitily designed piece of gear. It's called the ATC Sport and comes to us from the beloved company, Black Diamond.

    Now I must ask you what kind of moronic sport monkey dreamed this up. Let's take a device that has been almost exactly the same for the last, oh I don't know 30 - 40 years, and completely destroy all of its functionality. This device is like adding a rev limiter to your Ferrari.

    Hey dude look, BD made this super sweet belay device that now weighs 6 ounces less. I'm gonna send so hard its STUPID. Well make sure you carry your belay device with you up your project BRAH! Good luck trying to figure out how to use it to repel.

    Here is an idea... if you are trying to cut weight off of you while you are climbing... LEAVE THE BELAY DEVICE ON THE GROUND! SHOCK, AWE, GASP!

    Alas, people buy them and they are even sold at the gym where I work. :( I guess stupid is as stupid does.

  2. How about this.... http://www.mammut.ch/pm2012_refine_skort_1 -@DRockClimbs

    1. YES! That is AW-ESOME/FUL!!!

      It also just so happens that the next post is going to be about another Mammut product. . .

  3. Ummm...ever had a cold butt in your sleeping bag? This is the perfect extra layer!