I'm talking to you, the asshat wearing underarmour and basketball shorts with the girl who just painted her 3 inch nails. Yeah bra, Imma fail the shit out of her, and it's tots your fault.
I know she "did this once in high school," and you gave her a "refresher" in the parking lot. She doesn't know what she's doing, and neither do you. The couple of times you've top-roped in the gym and once at Quincy Quarries with your university's outdoors club doesn't qualify you to teach anyone anything. You're trying to impress her with your macho 5.8 rock-climbing skillz, she's trying to pretend she gets it to make you happy.
It's the blind leading the blonde.
No, I'm not going to take my entire working night teaching her how to belay. I'm busy keeping people safe and happy, you're busy making yourself look like a jackass. Stop being a dick, go boulder for the evening.
To the girl: ditch the dude. He'll never really be a real climber anyway, and I'm way better looking.
when he does make it to the bouldering area he'll be over-beta-ing the poor woman (put your foot on the red one, the RED one!) and forcing her to take make videos with her phone of him climbing v3 (true story, happened last week).
ReplyDeletePlease please please tell me you still have this video!
Deletethis makes me so happy
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