Monday, November 21, 2011

Climbing photography

So you've got your dad's old figure 8, rope threaded straight through the hangers at Quincy Fucking Quarries, a few buddies, and a PBR or two. LET'S GO ROCKS CLIMBING!!!

But wait, you can't forget the single most important part of climbing: documenting how rad you are to all of your lame, conventional highschool friends! GET SOME SNAPS! Some pro tips below:

Jay, showing off the classic from-the-belay-butt-shot
1) Positioning
The most important part of climbing is showing off how good your ass looks in a harness. Stand directly underneath the climber, and take about 10-20 steps straight back, depending on how far up your climber is, and take your shot. This gives the viewer the visceral feeling that they are right there, in the action, belaying.
Steve. Facebook profiler for sure


2) Framing
Make sure the climber is dead in the center of the frame. Remember, all anyone should care about is you; everything else is just filler material. If your climber is far away, make sure you use the digital zoom on your point 'n shoot to its fullest.

3) Subject
It's SUPER important to make sure that the person you are shooting is decked out for the occasion. I recommend they wear a shirt of a similar color and shade as the rock. It really gives that zen "I am one with nature" feel.

Bonus points if the subject has some extra gear hanging from his/her harness and a clearly visible top-rope. That way when some chick asks what all that gear is for, you can look it up and tell her.

4) Editing
It's a little known secret that overhanging climbs don't actually exist. There is no better way to make you look like a badass than a bit of creative angling of the camera.

A: Jeb, what a gumby
B: Jeb, what a baller!
C: Jeb, OMG Y R UR genitals not currently in my mouth and/or other orifices*?!?!

* orifi?

If you have some basic photoshop skillz, be sure to bump the contrast and saturate the fuck outa your pics. You're ideally looking for Tron levels of color pop here.

Try to make sure the shot is juuust a little blurry too. It helps your viewer use his/her imagination.

5) The Collection
Make sure your album or profile pic set contains the following:

A bunch of shitty pictures. That way people will think the good ones are even better.

Snaps of you in the gym. Make sure everyone knows you're a well rounded climber.

Sunsets. Bitches love sunsets.

4 comments:

  1. steve, horseman, gunks, sweet shit, rad

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey, all real gumbies use iPhony and that instragam thingy adds all those effects and stuff automagically. yeah.

    ReplyDelete
  3. i fucking love sunsets.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The most important part of climbing is showing off how good your ass looks in a harness. Stand directly underneath the climber, and take about 10-20 steps straight back, depending on how far up your climber is, and take your shot. http://www.adventurezone.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete